The Thorny Subject of Spiritual Abuse

I like my increasingly infrequent blogs to be pretty lighthearted and raise at least a smile or two. This ain’t that, so you decide whether to read on (takes under 3 minutes):

Sometime ago I was invited into a charity to investigate alleged financial irregularities. I quickly established that there were serious questions to answer and reports were duly submitted to the relevant authorities.

My enquiries revealed other matters that merited investigation; allegations of spiritual abuse. When I drew the attention of the trustees to these issues I was firmly told to stick to my brief. Spiritual abuse is not easily proven unlike financial abuse, where printouts tell their own tale. The Charity Commission understandably has no mandate to investigate allegations of spiritual abuse. Most spiritual abuse that goes on in churches and other faith charities is not normally a police matter, unless there are safeguarding issues.

I was involved recently on the fringe of serious charges of spiritual abuse against the CEO of a charity. After months, years even of brushing allegations under the carpet as so often happens, when the complainant went public on social media, getting some hundreds of likes and other responses, the trustees in a panic move suspended the CEO and set up an expensive enquiry, costing more money than I think they had. They even brought the police in; they didn’t show much interest. The charity, a busy one doing tremendous work locally, had to be shut down in a matter of months. 

The issue of spiritual abuse is not endemic I’m glad to say, but it’s out there and damaging people and reputations. It damages leaders where allegations are false or insignificant as can be the case. It damages those who have been abused, when time and time again the issues are ignored.

It’s a serious problem that needs a more robust approach. For me it came to a head when I was asked by a chief exec if I had a spiritual abuse policy that the trustees could adopt which would require them to investigate accusations of spiritual abuse. I didn’t have a policy and despite a search I wasn’t able to find anyone else who had one. Plenty of safeguarding policies, which are of course mandatory, but nothing covering spiritual abuse.  

A current UK investigation seems to be going on and on, with further revelations regularly appearing and a lot of reputations of individuals who knew something wasn’t right but kept silent to protect the institutional reputation, being tarnished. A half decent policy would have required that both cases mentioned above be properly looked at rather than glossed over. Much of the time all that’s needed is a recognition that apologies, heartfelt apologies need to be made, forgiveness sought and greater accountabilities being put in place. A lot of heartache and pain can so easily be avoided by a timely intervention. 

What’s the answer to all this? There must be policies out there; not being able to find one, I’ve completed an early draft of my own. I’ve asked people who know about safeguarding to review it. They generally approve it, with some suggestions for fine-tuning it. I’m already on my fourth draft with more to come. If churches and faith charities adopted it or something like it, they’d have a solid pathway to deal with allegations falling into the category of spiritual abuse. Write to me if you’d like to see it. I’m always open to comments and suggestions. 

Spiritual abuse is a complex problem without easy solutions. Some final bullet points for us to reflect upon::

• Policies are important, but culture change is key. Policies only work if people are willing to uphold them. Building a culture of transparency, accountability, and respect is foundational.
• There must be safe spaces for victims to come forward and be heard, with no fear of retaliation. Trust takes time to earn after it has been broken.
• Accused leaders need due process, but organizations must remain focused on the wellbeing of the vulnerable, not institutional reputation. Avoiding issues rarely makes them go away.
• Education around healthy boundaries and ethics for ministers would help prevent problems from developing. Ongoing training matters.
• Independent oversight and grievance processes may help, when integrated compassionately into existing structures.
• Most abuse stems from misuses of power. Flatter organizational structures that distribute authority could help.
• At core this is a heart issue – the antidote to abuse is a culture of humility, service, and love.Policies alone will not transform hearts.