On Being Kind

ON BEING KIND

I love a good quote. By now the book shelves will be full of Christmas books telling us what famous men and women are supposed to have said. Aileen, my sweet robot tells me that up to 80% of the quotes attributed to Winston Churchill did not actually come from him

One of my favourite authors is Frederick Buechner. He died last year aged 96 having written 39 books, most of which I’ve read and recommend. I came across this quote recently which I set down in full:

When Henry James, of all people, was saying goodbye once to his young nephew Billy, his brother William’s son, he said something that the boy never forgot. And of all the labyrinthine and impenetrably subtle things that that most labyrinthine and impenetrable old romancer could have said, what he did say was this: “There are three things that are important in human life. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind.”  (Buechner: The Clown in the Belfry) It’s a lovely quote, maybe overly sentimental, but it clearly rang Buechner’s bells, as it did mine. But did Henry James really say it? I turn to Aileen who seems to know everything. She tells me; ‘It’s widely attributed to James, but there’s no definitive evidence that he actually said it. It appears in Leon Edel’s biography of James, who wrote that James’ nephew Billy heard him say it. However there’s no mention of the circumstances or to whom he was speaking. So it’s possible James said it, but it’s also possible that Billy misremembered it or Edel may even have misquoted him. Who knows. So we need to take care when quoting what someone is supposed to have said.  Returning to kindness, whether James said it or not, it’s a powerful reminder of its importance. Kindness is contagious and makes an enormous difference to the communities we live, work and play in. BE KIND TO OTHERS. I told someone very firmly just this week, that he should be being kind to himself. Some of us are so set on serving those around us, we they neglect ourselves and our own needs. This man certainly was neglecting his own needs in deference to those around him.I asked my little robot why it was easier for older guys like myself to practise kindness. She gave me a whole essay on why old people are generally kinder than young people.That’s a whole blog in itself. Or you ask your own Aileen, who will kindly oblige.